Posts Tagged ‘Bronfenbrenner’

photo credit: HA! Designs – Artbyheather

How do you measure what is important?

Hain Ginott, the famous child psychologist and author of classic books like “Between Parents and Child” and “Between Teachers and Child” taught about the power of establishing your own rules. He reasoned the rules helped you communicate your core values and helped you measure your actions.

One of the first articles on this blog was Shouting My Commitment. Where I tell the world exactly where I stand.

Over the years, my rule has been reduced to one sentence:

“Does this action lead toward inclusion, or toward segregation?”

End of Semester, but Beginning of Life.

Here at Climbing Every Mountain, many of our readers are students in Diversity and Disability Study classes at area universities.

As the semester is ending, I hope your time here has been informative, entertaining and caused you some “cognitive dissonance.”

Cognitive Dissonance

Piaget and other educational theorists say we must have “cognitive dissonance” to challenge our existing paradigm and beliefs–or there can be no change–no evolution in our thinking, no learning.

I received emails when several people disagreed with my last post, “I love Aaron| I hate Autism.” I spoke my truth, it meets my rule–so I am confident in my position. I welcome their “cognitive dissonance” and hope they will continue the discussion–so all of us will learn new things.

Evolving from Student to Teacher

One of the responsibilities of being a teacher is to raise issues, even if they are not popular. Sure, you need to be thoughtful and research your topics. Sure, you need to present logical arguments and use real world examples. Sure, you need to be aware of learning styles and cultural diversity.

At the end of the semester, a student must synthesize all the new information and create your own rules to live by. What will you “prune” away, and what ideas, facts, theories will now become part of the way you think and act?

If your measuring stick is different than others, this is tricky. Many people will disagree and see things based on their own measuring stick. That’s okay. That’s their right.

WARNING: The more important the topic–the more diversity of opinion.

And, even though it is hard to admit, they might be right. Their opinions might cause you cognitive dissonance and the spiral of learning begins all over again.

Evolving from Student to Teacher to Student

As teachers, you are going to be the advocate for not only yourself, but also the children in your care, their parents, the other teachers, the administration, the community, everyone.

You will have to keep learning, not just for survival, but because you want to keep growing and changing. You will have to find the empathy to see things from other’s point of view.

You will have to learn to take baby steps and compromise–often.

Nothing is Perfect. Nothing is totally Pure.

If you are a leader, you will face difficult decisions. You will need to be able to know what you stand for. When to walk away. When to compromise. When to ignore. When to dig in and fight.

Inch by Inch, anything’s a cinch (Schuller)

“Does this lead toward inclusion, or toward segregation?”

This mantra works for me but you will need to find your own. What defines you, your heart, your truth? What is your call to action?

Bronfenbrenner, another educational psychologist, showed us how to think in systems. I’ve written about how this applies to Aaron, my son with the label of autism in a post called The Circles of Life, but want to share some ideas from system’s theory and my point about moving from segregation to inclusion.

Individual Change

If an individual student with a disability can join general education students at a lunchroom table–this is one inch toward inclusion and away from segregation. It is a move in the direction of inclusion.

Classroom Change

If a colleague differentiates an assignment for a class, so that ALL can participate–we celebrate this step toward inclusion.

School Change

If a policy is changed, and students with disabilities can go on the fieldtrip with their general education class–this is a small step toward inclusion.

Cultural Change

In my opinion, recent political events demonstrate certain politicians are trying to demonize public employees–especially teachers–so they can further their agenda to only teach certain conservative curriculums, dismantle collective bargaining and a teacher’s influence in his/her own class, sabatoge the public schools, and create more private/charter schools at public expense. They no longer want to separate church and state.

Using my measure of, “Does this action move toward inclusion, or toward segregation” it is clear it moves toward segregation.

As teachers in the 21st century, you are going to be caught in the cross-fire. You will need to make choices and decisions.

The administration in private/charter schools can make a rule that says, “We don’t take kids with disabilities.”

Since private/charter schools do not have to follow many of the federal laws this is their right.

Personal Change

You are not going to be able to just ride this one out. YOU are going to have to make choices and decisions.

What rule do you want in your community, your life?

Is this the kind of community and/or school where you want to teach?
Where you will send your children?

Do you want to be forbidden subjects about diversity, science, history and even basic tenants of democracy and freedom?

Obviously this is a major discussion. What role do you want to play in the discussion?

Conclusion

I want to invite everyone to continue as members of our Climbing Every Mountain community, and encourage you to make rules that will guide your life.

I wish you well. I wish you courage.

Below is part of a speech Haim Ginott gave to a group of teachers on the first day of school. I find it inspiring, I hope you do too.

Dear Teacher,

I am a survivor of a concentration camp. My eyes saw what no man should witness.

Gas chambers built by learned engineers.
Children poisoned by educated physicians.
Infants killed by trained nurses.
Women and babies shot and burned by high school and college graduates.

So, I am suspicious of education.
My request is that teachers help students become human.
Your efforts must never produce learned monsters, skilled psychopaths, educated Eichmanns.

Reading, writing, arithmetic are important only if they serve to make our children more human…
(Haim Ginott, 1972, Teacher and Child)

Keep Climbing: Onward and Upward

All my best,

Mary

Share your Thoughts

Do you have a bottom line? Can you sum up the rules of your life in one or two sentences? Do you believe in inclusion, do you believe in segregation? It is that simple. Whatever your choice—your actions are more important than your thoughts or words. What did you think of Haim Ginott’s message to “be human”?

photo credit: horizontal.integration

Today is Jan. 1, 2011– or 1.1.11

That’s a lot of ones: Day One; First Month; New Year and Decade.

Could this be a cosmic sign?

Could this be the year of the Power of One?

We can celebrate with fireworks, silly hats, black-eyed peas and sauerkraut. We can dress in yellow (for prosperity) or white (for peace) while throwing pomegranate seeds on the roof and making wishes for 2011. But, this new decade and new year will race forward–with or without us. In 365 days, it will become 2012, and then 2013, 2014…. The cosmic universe doesn’t care about individual people.

Actually, that is a comfort. I don’t want to be Atlas holding the world on my shoulders. I don’t want the responsibility of saving the world, that’s too much.

Systems Theory–Circles of Life

Bronfenbrenner’s systems theory states that what affects one part of the system affects all the parts of the systems. In previous posts on the circle of life and family reunions I’ve talked about his embedded systems (like Russian Dolls). The individual is in the center circle, surrounded by the family, surrounded by the community and “systems.”

Inner Circle: Aaron

When Aaron, my son with the labels of autism and developmental disabilities was growing up, I made specific dream plans and goals to include him in an inclusive community.

They were audacious plans. But we had IDEA and ADA and hope. And Aaron was young and had lots of years ahead of him. I thought the values of ALL people living and working in an inclusive community would keep evolving into a more accepting world. I thought I could count on the professionals, the local, state, national agencies and organizations to help.

But those systems don’t exist for adults with disabilities and/or their families.

Aaron is 36 years old. For adults there is no mandate or law saying he can get services. So we have watched as his behavior and communication have deteriorated. And, frankly, I have even had trouble envisioning a new dream plan.

This past year has been a painful experience watching the residential and vocational companies NOT want Aaron–but want his Medicaid Waiver funds.

The opportunity on 1.1.11 is to dream again. It’s time to use the Power of One.

The Power of One: For Aaron

Aaron recently started a day program with Goodwill/Easter Seals five days a week and they are providing him with a one-on-one staff person three days a week. That is the brightest hope we have had for years. So YEA!

Aaron still has a great roommate and one loving caregiver who has been with them for over 7 years. YEA YEA!

And Tommy (Aaron’s brother) and his family are now living near us, so our family can get together more often. YEA YEA YEA!

That is three wins. As this year ends, those are the blessings I see and celebrate.

Dream plan for Aaron–2011:

Aaron will be happy. He will have people around him who love him. He will have choices and do interesting things. Have friends. He will be able to communicate when he wants/doesn’t want something. He will be safe.

Pretty basic. Nothing specific. But again, these are audacious goals.

So, maybe everything you and I do this year will not make much of a difference in the cosmic scheme of things. But using the Power of One, I can do something to make a difference in my son’s life.

In the example of Goodwill/ES, it was the Power of One times 4. Aaron’s Dad, me, our Support Coordinator, and the leadership of Goodwill/ES. We kept at it, and it happened.

The Power of One: For Community

Using the Power of One, I will continue my blog,ClimbingEveryMountain.com.
I will try to entertain, encourage and give information to grow a community that cares about adults with disabilities.

Thank you for being with me on this journey. It has been an amazing first six months for Climbing Every Mountain. Together we can build a better world and community–one person at a time.

Virtual Circles

Old Bronfenbrenner wouldn’t recognize his embedded systems, but in 2011 we are using the social media tools (blog, Twitter, Facebook) and reinventing his circles of love and support that will ripple out to touch the future. The people in the circles are not our next door neighbors, they might live on the other side of the world.

In 2011, is social media and technology the solution?

Chris Brogan (ChrisBrogan.com) is a social media guru who suggests the future is going to include websites, blogs, forums, videos and online communities which help us connect with like-minded folks to get the information and emotional support we need.

His new company, 501 Mission Place, is helping non-profits use social media and become more effective. Perhaps you know of a non-profit that could use some social media help.

But I wonder if it is too late for many traditional organizations.

Virtual communities are already replacing many of the antiquated national organizations which have huge overhead and an inability to help individuals.

Virtual training is replacing the large conferences, meetings and university classes. Webinars and online courses like Partners in Policymaking are the new “best practice.”

Do you use the traditional phone and agencies in your community, or do you search for people and information in the virtual world of Cable TV, iPods, www, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and …?

Summary: In 2011, we can use our individual power, the Power of One, to make a difference for our children with disabilities. We can do it by advocating directly for the people we love, and we can do it by becoming part of a virtual community like Climbing Every Mountain or other online communities.

In 2011–We’re Number One!

I hope you will sign up (top left) to get notices of new posts. I hope you will add your voice and stories to the comments. I hope you will use the social media of Twitter and Facebook to invite others to join us. The way we are going to build a better world for vulnerable people is to join together. And I hope you have an amazing 2011.

Keep Climbing: Onward and Upward
All my best for a fantastic year of ones,

Mary

Use Your Power: Comments Please

How can you use the Power of One? Do you think social media can help? Do you recommend other blogs and/or virtual communities?

I’d love to read your comments and know what you are planning this year.

Day 3 of the 30-Day-Every-Day Blogging Challenge

Tom and I have sold three of our previous homes ourselves. But with the economy, the time of year, the fact our condo is in a private community… we decided to turn it over to the professionals.

Don’t know about you, but every parent of a kid with a disability feels slimy squiggly worms climbing up their necks at the phrase, “Turn it over to the professionals.”

Don’t get me wrong, some of my best friends are professionals. *laugh, had to add that*

What I’ve learned from my experiences as a mother?

I don’t like to mistrust people or cause problems. I don’t enjoy confrontation. I don’t think my way is the only way. It’s no fun to continually question the rules. But…

People with disabilities and their families have been the victims of the experts. We have seen them change their minds, make stuff up, be flat-out wrong (remember refrigerator mothers and institutions…) So, I am skeptical of experts, research, and all professionals. Including Realtors.

Do Realtors conduct scientific research?

The dominant research paradigm in our culture requires we disprove the “null hypothesis” to find the new truth or fact. The scientific method demands testing under strict guidelines, then in additional studies, all findings must be duplicated with similar results. (Hey, I didn’t take all those research classes for nothing.)

So maybe some “Research Realtor” (say that three times fast) set up double-blind studies, evaluated the statistics and made scientifically unbiased conclusions. But, maybe all this objective advice about removing all personal pictures and hiding the coffee pot is nonsense propagated on a TV show? Maybe no one tested it at all. Maybe some company exec. made an arbitrary decision. Don’t know, I haven’t studied the real estate literature.

Just Trust Me.

But don’t you wonder if deciding a one-hour Open House is more effective than a 3 hour Open House is based on pure speculation? Is there quantifiable data proving the internet is the only effective way to advertise? Do the pros navigate their own websites ie. When we typed in our street address on the Realtor’s website, it said, “no such property exists.” Scary.

We parents learned the hard way about authority and trust when researchers insisted on using standardized tests–in multiple choice format–because that was easiest for them to collect data.

Do Realtors now rely almost exclusively on the internet and one-hour open houses because it really is more effective selling houses? Or, to make their personal lives easier? (Hey, no one wants to work Sunday afternoons.)

It’s only one week since our listing–so we need patience. But Tom and I are starting to second-guess our decision and wish we tried to sell our condo ourselves. At least we would be in control, success or not. Our condo at $148,900 is small potatoes to a real estate professional. Yet the $8,000 commission might mean the difference between a sale, and no sale. And $8,000 is what Tom makes in a year working 3 days a week at his job at the golf course.

Once empowered…

One thing about being an advocate and parent of a child with a severe disability is we know about empowerment and self-determination. We have learned to be persistent. We communicate our needs, concerns and keep asking questions. We don’t trust professionals to do their jobs. We question promises, motives and actions. We question…well, everything. That is how we survive.

Not sure if that is good or bad, it is just the way it is. In systems theory we understand everything is connected. What affects one part of the system affects all the parts of the system (click here).

Sorry Realtors, nothing personal, but when you get our listing, you also get our life’s baggage. We act the same for hairdressers, plumbers, and especially for all service delivery services (and I don’t mean Federal Express).

Parents carry battle scars that never heal. And this carries over into all aspects of life.

Your Turn

So, maybe the questions are: Can parents ever be happy? Can we ever trust professionals to do their jobs? What do you think when you “turn it over to the professionals”? Do workshops on self-determination and empowerment help or hinder our relationships?
Do you “Question the Rules”?

Tomorrow: “When Sci-Fi Touches Real Life” a story where the heroine is one of those squiggly worms.

Keep Climbing: Onward and Upward.

All the best,

Mary

————————————————-
In case you missed it:

Day 1: “Every Day for 30 Days” Blogging Challenge or “IBP” (Individual Blogging Plan) Day 1 of the 30-Day-Every-Day Blogging challenge. (click here)

Day 2: Memory Rocks: not being objective (click here).

Check out what my challenge partner Alison Golden of The Secret Life of a Warrior Woman is blogging about today at http://alisongolden.com/

Aaron’s a Dude: The Dignity of Risk

Aaron just spent 3 days on a Dude Ranch in Michigan.

Before the Dude Ranch closes for the winter, buses of adults with all kinds of disability labels arrive and sleep in bunk houses, eat in mess halls, go boating, ride horses and sing songs around the campfire. For many of these adults—this is the highlight of the year.

The ranch’s owner is friends with the owner of the residential company which provides Aaron’s supports. (This is a great example of Bronfenbrenner’s system’s theory—circle of friends, using your contacts…click here).

Aaron is assigned a staff counselor one-on-one, but everyone pitches in to make sure everyone is safe and has a good time. Always being safe and having a good time sometimes contradict each other. Bob Perske used to talk about, “The Dignity of Risk” and as parents this is a complex and difficult balancing act.

This year we were lucky because one of Aaron’s regular staff went to camp. This was nice because she has worked with Aaron for 6 months and knows what Aaron likes and doesn’t like. So that helped mom’s anxiety and I would think made a big difference to Aaron.

This is about Aaron’s fifth dude experience and each time it’s a worry for me and Aaron’s dad. It is hard to get good feedback on what Aaron does and doesn’t do. I wish he could talk and tell us but I figure it is a change of pace, he likes to ride on the bus, sing songs. Especially, he likes to go horseback riding.

When Aaron was growing up, he took horseback lessons for about 10 years. He only stopped because he reached the 150 pound weight limit. When Aaron sits atop a horse, he looks like Prince Charles: head high, back straight, sometimes he even points his toes. I think he and the horses communicate in their own cosmic language. Sue Radabaugh, Bobbi Theis and the physical therapist at Cincinnati Riding for the Handicapped gave Aaron and each rider a lucky horseshoe at the end of each series of lessons.

We learned horseshoes should always be positioned so the luck stays inside the horseshoe and doesn’t fall out. Aaron still has the horseshoes. God knows we don’t want to have our luck fall out.

Each year, I try and give Aaron “the dignity of risk” and not worry about the million of things that can go wrong at camp. I don’t like to think of myself as one of those “over-protective” or “hovering” parents. Some years have gone better than others, but each year we hope and pray our luck holds.

It is just difficult having a person like Aaron who is so vulnerable, when we don’t really know how the staff will act in this very different environment. For instance, Aaron has red hair, freckles, and burns in about 15 minutes in the sun. His caregiver is from Jamaica and has never had a sunburn in her life. I send sunscreen, I give instructions, but each year we ask, “Will Aaron come home with a sunburn?” In the post about deciding to go to the family reunion (click here) I could actually do the ecological assessment and control the environment. But the Dude Ranch is too far away. I had to put the control in the staff’s hands. And we’ve had some rocky experiences with some staff.

We did find out that Aaron went right up to the horses and wanted to ride, he went out on the lake in a boat four times, and he passed out the light bracelets for the barn dance the last night. The little radio we sent for the bus ride worked well, and actually came back with Aaron. Only one toileting accident. So all is well for another year. Hopefully we will see some pictures. And hopefully we will be even better prepared for next year.

Maybe I should hammer some horseshoes (with the luck inside) up on our front door. Whew! made it another year.