Get notice of new posts
Connect with me!
Help Support Our Climb
Help Support Our Climb

Dream Plan for Aaron: 2010 (Part 4)

Aaron and 4 generations of family

Aaron and 4 Generations of Family

“If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.” – Jim Rohn

In Part 1: 1981 Aaron was 6 years old and we outlined a vision of what a happy, successful quality of life would look like for Aaron as an adult. (click here).

In Part 2: 1989, Aaron was 14 years old and we were moving forward. The Plan was updated to take into account the changes in our family, but also the changes in special education, disability services and the world. (click here)

In Part 3: 1998 Aaron is 23 years old and moving out of his parent’s house into his own place with a roommate and 24 hour assistance from caregivers. (Click here)

In Part 4: 2010:

How did we do?

All Dream Plans were built on the concepts of family, community, normalization and inclusion.

Original 1981 Dream Plan for Aaron

Aaron will be educated in a public school with his non-handicapped brother and neighbors. He will have a functional curriculum (see related post) which looks at his needs in his life spaces (vocational, leisure/recreation, domestic, general community functioning). His out-of-school activities will evolve around his family and his own friends, interests and talents. He will be in age-appropriate settings: elementary school ages 5-10; Jr. High ages 11-13, Sr. High ages 14-21, job in the community 21+. He will begin vocational training now, at age 6, so he will be able to perform the job. (If he isn’t able to be a dishwasher, then he can be a dishwasher’s helper, etc… there is some job he will be able to do with success.) At the appropriate time, Aaron will move to a group home to live with others his age. Though dependent in many ways, Aaron will have self-esteem and confidence in the things he does and be a contributor to his family, his extended family, and society.

Current 2010 Dream Plan for Aaron

Aaron was educated in a public school with his brother and the neighbors. After we won our lawsuit with Cincinnati Public Schools, the school district was vindictive and since Tom (Aaron and Tom’s father) was a teacher in the district we decided to move to Lakota School District. Aaron rode the bus to school with the neighborhood kids, he received a functional community based program with some excellent teachers and therapists who used best practice. His out-of-school activities evolved around his family and his own friends, interests and talents. Aaron went to the prom with his friend Jenni, he was on the Jr. High Track and Cross Country team where he earned school letters, he rode horses, swam, went to camp and took summer vacations with his family. He went to family reunions, holiday parties and the high school basketball and football games. He was on an inclusive bowling team and made some friends with the Baseball Team players. He was in the Key Club and had a circle of friends. He received extended school year services. He attended graduation (see related article) and had a celebration for all his family and friends. Aaron went to age-appropriate schools and had a job coach to help him in his job at the police station (vacuuming) and amusement park (watering plants) when he left school. When Aaron was 23 he moved into a house with another person (though he was older) and they have lived together for over 12 years. Aaron is still totally dependent but he has self-esteem and confidence in the things he does. He is loved and is a contributor to his family which now includes a niece and sister-in-law as well as his extended family of grandma and cousins. Aaron votes and is a consumer in our society.

Each one of these sentences is filled with years of work and advocacy. There are a whole lot of buts, buts, and more buts that happened when Aaron turned 21 that we didn’t foresee at age 6….

But considering the mountain we climbed to achieve all of the goals—WE DID IT!

1981 Dream Plan for Tommy

Tommy will be educated in a public school with his handicapped brother and neighbors. He will have a functional curriculum which looks at the needs in his life spaces, (academic, vocational, leisure/recreation, domestic, general community functioning). His out-of-school activities will evolve around his family, his own friends, interests, and talents. He will be in age-appropriate settings. He will make a career choice and pursue training (vocational, university, apprentice…). At a time he decides is appropriate, Tommy will move to his own home, probably marry and begin his own family. He will have self-esteem and confidence in the things he does and be a contributor to his family, his extended family and society.

Current 2010 Dream Plan for Tommy

Tommy went to school with his brother and neighbors. He had a functional curriculum that met his needs. He participated in wrestling, theater, cross-country and track, he went to all the school functions. He was in age-appropriate settings and shadowed adults in careers he was interested in. He began a couple career directions and graduated from Morehead State University with a job in the telecommunications field. He is now a Radio Frequency Engineer working on the new G4 systems. His work experience includes setting up the telecommunications for the Super Bowl and NASCAR events. His bride, Ana, is from Brazil and now they have a baby girl who is 18 months old. Tommy sees Aaron and his extended family every week. He is remodeling his house with his friend. He has self-esteem and confidence in the things he does and is a contributor to his family, his extended family and society.

Tommy is on his own. He has his own responsibilities and we help him every way we can. He is interdependent only because he wants to be. Now he makes his own dream plans for himself and his family. Here is a related article about Tommy and Aaron (Click here)

Aaron… well another post we’ll talk about life after age 22 and adult services.

Comments:

How are Aaron and Tommy’s dream plans different? At age 6 and age 22 and age 35? How did they turn out? Were they much different than the plans your parents made for you? Much different than you make for yourself? What would you say is the lesson?

Keep Climbing: Onward and Upward
All the best,

Mary

Be Sociable, Share!

12 Responses to “Dream Plan for Aaron: 2010 (Part 4)”

  • Becke Davis says:

    Mary – the last 35 or so years have really been an uphill battle for you. You deserve a Good Mother Award!

    • Mary E. Ulrich says:

      Thanks Becke, but unfortunately the after 22 years are going to be even harder. It was nice to think of what we have accomplished. Damn, we did a lot!

  • I would say the lesson is to have a goal and a lesson plan to get there that is flexible enough to deal with the things that come up on the way. The difference is that Tommy is able to become independent or interdependent while for Aaron, it is trickier as he will not be able to be truly independent, but can still contribute, and have confidence and self-esteem. What are the next goals, Mary?
    Alison Golden recently posted..The Holidays Are Upon Us – Do You Do Too Much At This Time Of Year

    • Mary E. Ulrich says:

      Darn Alison, I was hoping I could slip this one in and noone would notice that I don’t have goals for the next couple years. *shakes head*

      I tried hard to think of how I could project into the next 20 years for Aaron. I couldn’t do it. I’ll have to keep thinking, though part of it is I am just trying to live in the present. Since there is no mandate for services over age 21–we just take one problem, one victory at a time.

      The good news is Aaron is such a trooper.
      I am really proud of both Tommy and Aaron.*tears in eyes* They are still my babies.

  • Carol Alexander says:

    Mary, you have self-esteem and confidence in the things you do and are a contributor to your family, your extended family, society, and heaven. With love and admiration, Carol

    • Mary E. Ulrich says:

      Wow Carol. What a nice thing to say.

      You’ve done great things for your family too. We go back a long time. Love you too. Mary

  • Gary Jordon says:

    Well Mary you really did do a super job. You had plans and goals. Those worked well for you and your troop. To alleviate your understandable nerves I will let you in on a secret that my mother apparently had. My mother never had a specific plan simple an orientation that informed her that somehow I had a purpose in life even if she didn’t know what that was.

    From my study of ancient prophesy especially the Mayan Calendar I don’t anyone is going to be able to plan super long term in the detail you did anymore. I do believe that you can have some orientation as to what your values are and some notion of what is viable and what is not but that may be the extent of such planning.

    As for the vindictive school district it appears that when you upset their perfect world they didn’t have the inner confidence to find acceptance of the change.

    On Aaron becoming a senior citizen some day that is going to be in a very different world than the one we live in today. The best you can do now I guess is trust the Creator and the solid foundation you laid for both your boys.

    Peace Mary

    • Mary E. Ulrich says:

      Thanks Gary, I think your mom followed her instincts and she is right, your life does have a purpose. As for Aaron becoming a senior citizen–wow, that thought alone gave me chills. But again you are right. It will be a different world.

  • cheryl merritt says:

    HiMary,
    I admire your setting goals and persevering in the face of adversity. After my fight with the school system, I gave up and homeschooled. Your open communication should be a big help to other parents – and hopefully some educators.

    • Mary E. Ulrich says:

      Thanks for your comment Cheryl. It’s so sad that 30 years after the Education for All Handicapped Children Act was passed (now IDEA) that parents and the schools still can’t work it out. Your child was lucky because mom kept the vision alive. Best wishes to you.

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge