by Mary E. Ulrich | Aug 9, 2024
photo credit: HA! Designs – Artbyheather
How do you measure what is important?
Hain Ginott, the famous child psychologist and author of classic books like “Between Parents and Child” and “Between Teachers and Child” taught about the power of establishing your own rules. He reasoned the rules helped you communicate your core values and helped you measure your actions.
One of the first articles on this blog was Shouting My Commitment. Where I tell the world exactly where I stand.
Over the years, my rule has been reduced to one sentence:
“Does this action lead toward inclusion, or toward segregation?”
End of Semester, but Beginning of Life.
Here at Climbing Every Mountain, many of our readers are students in Diversity and Disability Study classes at area universities. I hope your time here has been informative, and entertaining and caused you some “cognitive dissonance.”
Cognitive Dissonance
Piaget and other educational theorists say we must have “cognitive dissonance” to challenge our existing paradigm and beliefs–or there can be no change–no evolution in our thinking, no learning.
I received emails when several people disagreed with my last post, “I love Aaron| I hate Autism.” I spoke my truth, it meets my rule–so I am confident in my position. I welcome their “cognitive dissonance” and hope they will continue the discussion–so all of us will learn new things.
Evolving from Student to Teacher
One of the responsibilities of a teacher is to raise issues, even if they are not popular. Sure, you need to be thoughtful and research your topics. Sure, you need to present logical arguments and use real-world examples. Sure, you need to be aware of learning styles and cultural diversity.
At the end of the semester, a student must synthesize all the new information and create her own rules to live by. What will you “prune” away, and what ideas, facts, and theories will now become part of the way you think and act?
If your measuring stick is different than others, this is tricky. Many people will disagree and see things based on their own measuring stick. That’s okay. That’s their right.
WARNING: The more important the topic–the more diversity of opinion.
And, even though it is hard to admit, they might be right. Their opinions might cause you cognitive dissonance and the spiral of learning begins all over again.
Evolving from Student to Teacher to Student
As teachers, you are going to be the advocate for not only yourself but also the children in your care, their parents, the other teachers, the administration, the community, and everyone.
You will have to keep learning, not just for survival, but because you want to keep growing and changing. You will have to find empathy to see things from another’s point of view.
You will have to learn to take baby steps and compromise–often.
Nothing is Perfect. Nothing is totally Pure.
If you are a leader, you will face difficult decisions. You will need to be able to know what you stand for. When to walk away. When to compromise. When to ignore. When to dig in and fight.
Inch by Inch, anything’s a cinch (Schuller)
“Does this lead toward inclusion, or toward segregation?”
This mantra works for me but you will need to find your own. What defines you, your heart, your truth? What is your call to action?
Bronfenbrenner, another educational psychologist, showed us how to think in systems. I’ve written about how this applies to Aaron, my son with the label of autism in a post called The Circles of Life, but want to share some ideas from the system’s theory and my point about moving from segregation to inclusion.
Individual Change
If an individual student with a disability can join general education students at a lunchroom table–this is one inch toward inclusion and away from segregation. It is a move in the direction of inclusion.
Classroom Change
If a colleague differentiates an assignment for a class, so that ALL can participate–we celebrate this step toward inclusion.
School Change
If a policy is changed, and students with disabilities can go on the field trip with their general education class–this is a small step toward inclusion.
Cultural Change
“Disability World” is socially constructed. It can follow the philosophy of a medical model and try to cure the individuals, or it can follow a different philosophy and say the individual is fine, we need to cure the world.
In my opinion, many people want to go back to the medical model. Recent political events demonstrate certain politicians are trying to demonize public employees–especially teachers and take away the programs which support people with disabilities to work, go to school and live in the community.
In my opinion, they want to further their agenda to only teach certain conservative curriculums, dismantle collective bargaining and a teacher’s influence in his/her own class, sabotage the public schools, and create more private/charter schools at public expense. They no longer want to separate church and state.
Using my measure of, “Does this action move toward inclusion, or toward segregation” it clearly moves toward segregation.
As teachers in the 21st century, you are going to be caught in the crossfire. You will need to make choices and decisions.
The administration in private/charter schools can make a rule that says, “We don’t take kids with disabilities.”
Since private/charter schools do not have to follow many of the federal laws this is their right. I believe in the separation of church and state. If a school or church wants to discriminate against people with disabilities — that is America. That is their right. I just don’t agree with it.
Personal Change
You are not going to be able to just ride this one out. YOU are going to have to make choices and decisions.
What rule do you want in your community, your life?
Is this the kind of community and/or school where you want to teach?
Where you will send your children?
Do you want to be forbidden subjects about diversity, science, history, and even basic tenants of democracy and freedom?
Obviously, this is a major discussion. What role do you want to play in the discussion?
Conclusion
I want to invite everyone to continue as members of our Climbing Every Mountain community, and encourage you to make rules that will guide your life.
I wish you well. I wish you courage.
Below is part of a speech Haim Ginott gave to a group of teachers on the first day of school. I find it inspiring, I hope you do too.
Dear Teacher,
I am a survivor of a concentration camp. My eyes saw what no man should witness.
Gas chambers built by learned engineers.
Children poisoned by educated physicians.
Infants killed by trained nurses.
Women and babies shot and burned by high school and college graduates.
So, I am suspicious of education.
My request is that teachers help students become human.
Your efforts must never produce learned monsters, skilled psychopaths, educated Eichmanns.
Reading, writing, arithmetic are important only if they serve to make our children more human…
(Haim Ginott, 1972, Teacher and Child)
Keep Climbing: Onward and Upward
All my best,
Mary
Share your Thoughts
Do you have a bottom line? Can you sum up the rules of your life in one or two sentences? Do you believe in inclusion, do you believe in segregation? It is that simple. Whatever your choice—your actions are more important than your thoughts or words. What did you think of Haim Ginott’s message to “be human”?
by Mary E. Ulrich | Aug 9, 2024
BACK to SCHOOL Article 2
To celebrate the new school year here are some of my favorite posts.
Article 1:
Why Do We Go to School?
Article 2:
A New Year of Learning
This is one of my favorite stories–an updated article from when Aaron was 8 years old and Tommy 6. Enjoy!
Kids in a Box
It was the weekend before school began and Cincinnati was sweltering from a week of 90-plus temperatures with over 50% humidity.
And partially because most of our neighbors don’t have air conditioning and partially because we enjoy each other’s company, all the moms were sitting on the porch steps waiting for the street lights to signal the time for baths, bedtime, and the end of summer.
Several children were busy with the final rehearsal for the “Ralph Avenue” version of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Erin was the wicked queen, Allison the prince charming, and the younger children Eric, Patrick, Tricia, and my son Tommy were assorted other characters.
The kids ran in and out of the yards wearing their winter caps with the tassels dropping over, trying to look like dwarfs.
After a while, the large cardboard box from Allison’s new stove changed from being used for the stage scenery for dwarfs to a cool hideout for cowboys.
Patrick’s mother told us a newspaper reporter stopped by her house to interview “a new kindergartner.” It would be a three-part series on Patrick’s impressions before school began, in January, and a third article after in June.
The poor reporter had a time of it because every time she asked Patrick (5 yrs.) about the imminent kindergarten experience, Eric (6 years and a kindergarten veteran) would give his answer, including a heated discussion about, “Who would be picked for the cookie passer?”
It was so much fun to be watching the kids and hanging out with other mothers but the beginning of school is very traumatic for me because of our continuing problems with the special education school program for my son.
Aaron has the label of autism and severe intellectual disabilities. A new year signals the beginning of another year of battle for inclusion.
But, maybe because it was too hot and maybe because I was surrounded by friends, I continued to sip my iced tea and enjoy the normal conversation of my neighbors.
Patrick said his favorite football team was the Jets. His brother Michael, age 3, noting the adults’ interest, announced his favorite team was “the helicopters.” Jets—helicopters, why not?
Tricia’s soccer team won every game last year with a very gentle and knowledgeable coach. This year they won their first game but the new coach yelled, screamed, and upset the team and their parents. The parents wondered if victory was worth the emotional price.
Moments that make parenting fun
Tommy went for his school physical and when the nurse asked him to urinate into a cup he burst into tears.
I pointed to the counter and its rows of labeled cups and told him everyone—even grownups–had to do this.
Sobbing he said, “Okay—but I won’t drink it.”
Later he asked, “Mom, why do they need a toilet in there is everyone pees in a cup?”
My friends and I exchanged sale prices on jeans and problem-solved about the best backpacks and gym shoes with shoelaces that didn’t need to be tied.
We laughed, reminisced about summer, and shared the thunderstorm warnings.
Eric’s Mom passed out popsicles.
All this time Aaron was walking up and down following the crowd of “dwarfs” as they flitted from yard to yard. He didn’t get a lot of direct attention, yet he was part of the group. For a time they all put on football helmets and Aaron went over, and knocked on them to hear the funny sounds and everyone giggled. Aaron got quite excited and even though he is tactily very defensive he allowed them to place the helmet on his head, for a minute anyway.
Tommy brought out his golf clubs and soon Eric and everyone tried a few swings hitting a large flowered ball. Once Aaron was too close and thoughtfully Patrick took his arm and helped him get out of the way and Eric adapted and shortened his swing.
Then the crowd was back down the street again. This time Aaron waited for the abandoned golf club. He bent over and balanced perfectly picking the club out of the grass. He began in his own way to hit the big plastic ball around the yard. Then he too lost interest and headed back down the street to find the other children.
Four years ago, the same day we moved into our home, a group of people on the other side of town filed a lawsuit to protect their neighborhood from the “danger’ of a proposed group home for people who were labeled mentally retarded. I remember my worry about meeting our new neighbors and their reactions. What would be their concerns, and fears? Would they allow us into their community?
There have been awkward moments when Aaron would do something inappropriately. But then “normal” “regular” young children have their good and bad moments like the rest of mankind.
Today Aaron was just Aaron and each neighbor had worries about jobs, children, families—the usual. We were a part of their neighborhood, their community.
As the sky darkened and the parents began to gather up the toys, football helmets, and golf clubs, and the talk again turned toward getting the children to bed so they would be fresh for the first day of school, I couldn’t help but think of how children and adults learn.
We use our creativity for Snow White costumes and playing with discarded boxes. We use our problem-solving skills to find sale-priced jeans to stretch our budgets. We use skill development including repetitive drills and practice for playing soccer and picking golf clubs out of the grass. We build on our experiences and associations whether they are jets and helicopters, cups and drinking, or how we feel about people who are different. We also learn from people, some of whom are rough coaches, some parents, some newspaper writers, and some—neighbors.
School may begin tomorrow but in our neighborhood, a whole lot of learning happened tonight. And perhaps, just perhaps—because Eric, Pat, and Tommy will grow up with their incidental learning, experiences, associations, and relationships with Aaron, the years of battles for belonging, full inclusion, and citizenship will be shortened and our war for acceptance will be won.
Sometimes the make-believe lessons of Snow White overlap with the real-world lessons of our family. After all, wasn’t Snow White the one who sang: “No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish for will come true.”
Keep believing, keep dreaming, and have a Happy School Year.
All the best,
Mary
Related Posts:
IEP Videos
Partners in Policymaking
by Mary E. Ulrich | Aug 6, 2024
Why do we go to school?
Is it to go to magical places?
Is it to make friends?
Is it to keep kids off the streets?
Is it to give Mom and Dad a rest? Or someplace for the kids to go while she/he works?
Is it only to learn to read and write?
When our country was founded, education was generally for the male children of rich property owners. They were to prepare to become businessmen and the governors of the lower classes.
Jeffersonian Philosophy of Education
Is the reason we go to school the Jeffersonian concept that a democracy depends upon an educated population?
This philosophy teaches we need to learn so we can become knowledgeable voters, dedicated citizens and choose wise leaders who govern for the common good.
This makes sense to me, but if you listen to many of the current politicians and public media personalities they seem to suggest the purpose of the school is to teach everyone to think the same way?
Their way.
And if you don’t, they will pull their children out of public school and either home school or put them in private schools where they can control the curriculum and the way people think.
They seem to think this is protecting their children from harm—these strange people and ideas would hurt their children.
But what about people who are different, including people with disabilities?
Measure of a Society
“The true measure of a society is how it treats its most vulnerable citizens.”
So, is part of the reason we go to school to learn how to live with society’s “most vulnerable citizens”? To learn about how we can all share the resources and problems of our common society?
To learn to care about others?
To learn to see strength in diversity?
To prepare ourselves and others to become one of those “most vulnerable citizens”?
Is the American school still the great melting pot that gives us all a common experience? and sees value in our diversity?
This is certainly the goal of inclusion. See related post, What is Inclusion?
If everyday ALL children go to the same schools, get to know each other on a personal level, share time on the playground and lunchroom and bus and in the classrooms–there are valuable lessons in just being together with people who are different than we are.
And maybe one of the lessons is–we are not so different–inside we are the same.
What do the history books say?
In the late 90s, I was teaching education majors who wanted to be teachers.
I took my Introduction to Exceptionalities classes to our university library which had a collection of textbooks being used in classrooms all over the country.
Their assignment was to examine one of the high school textbooks in American History, Problems in Democracy or World Histories and look for pictures or references to people with disabilities. Many of these college sophomores were able to find the same textbooks they used when they were in high school.
Out of the 20 different textbooks they evaluated, no textbook had more than four references to anything about disabilities.
The references, in a sentence or two, referred to:
Helen Keller was deaf and blind and traveled in the Wild West Show, President Roosevelt used a wheelchair, and the American with Disabilities Act passed in 1990. In several of the textbooks, an additional reference said, “deinstitutionalization caused many people who were mentally ill to become homeless” with a picture showing a man sleeping on a park bench. That was it! And the last message was not positive.
People with Disabilities are often Invisible People
People with disabilities have been basically excluded and invisible in the traditional curriculum.
In a culture that asks its children to “not stare,” and “beware of strangers” we have taught our children to ignore and avoid people with disabilities. Many churches only teach about praying for miracle cures and giving charity and alms to the “handicapped” (word from “cap in hand”). So, though there has been some progresss, it is not surprising our textbooks still avoid the whole conversation of disabilities and differences.
The increase in college “Disabilities Studies” majors and minors across the country is a strong beginning and step in the right direction. Kudos to those who are pioneers in this new movement. The recent Tribute to Ed Roberts is an example of people who care recognizing the contributions of great Americans to the freedom and inclusion of all.
Yet, I would bet if we repeated this textbook assignment today in 2013, there would still be a scarcity to references about people with disabilities and of all minorities; though I think the textbook companies are responding to some of the criticism.
What is the purpose of education?
So besides becoming informed citizens, what is the purpose of education, except to prepare each of us in the attitudes, vocational, domestic, community, and leisure skills we need to function successfully the 50-60-70 years of the rest of our lives?
How can we learn to make choices? To learn to ask questions? To learn to solve problems? To learn to work and live together? To learn about ourselves, our ways of making sense of the world? To learn about diversity?
Would our government officials act differently if they followed Thomas Jefferson’s ideas on education? If they went to school with people who had disabilities or had differences?
Schools and Parents
One teacher, one therapist may be great for a year or two but professionals come and go. The parent is the constant in a child’s life. We know our children the best and are the experts on our child’s likes and dislikes, their learning styles and behavior in the home and community. We know our child’s history better than any psychological profile that sits in the school office. We know our child is more than the words on their Individualized Education Plan (IEP).
Our role as parent is a difficult one because we represent the continuity of our child’s life. We know their past, we are part of their journey. But are we willing to risk our children learning about diversity and differences?
There are many parents of children with disabilities who are afraid, it is understandable, but will that fear hurt our children and the next generation of citizens.
We know our neighbors, our community, the life our child has outside of school. Check out related story: A new year of learning. We can share our child’s dreams for the future and help them to come true.
Each day parents are challenged as “care managers” to insure cooperation and creativity among those who provide service to our children.
Each day, as our children climb on the school bus, they are a step closer to being adults. They step on the magical bus into their future and the future of our country.
Each day, we must ask ourselves: “Are the skills they are learning going to prepare them to become productive adults, caring and responsible citizens?”
Magic Bus Ride?
The school year is a precious opportunity for new growth. An opportunity to forget the hurts of the past, no matter how difficult. A new school year is a fresh start.
Build that future dream with much hope and picture the magic bus that can take you and your child into a year of wonder, new adventures and new learning in a land of diversity. We learn from our children and they learn from us, and that is also magic.
Wishing you a great year full of magic.
Comments:
When you were in school, how did you learn about people with disabilities, differences? Do you think there are things to be learned by sharing your lunch with someone who doesn’t talk with words? With someone who uses a communication board to talk? With a classmate who learns differently? With a friend who just happens to have a label of disability?
Keep Climbing–onward and upward.
All the best,
Mary
Related Posts
Happy Feet,” “Retarded Teeth” and “Carnival Goldfish”
Test Questions: Segregation or Inclusion?
by Mary E. Ulrich | Aug 5, 2024
Aaron watching Tommy play video games
Is summer different for kids with and without disabilities?
As parents of children with disabilities, it is difficult to know “What is realistic?” “What goals do I want?”. I have always found it helpful to measure “normalization” by comparing the life of my son Tommy with his brother Aaron. Below are my thoughts about summer activities when the boys were young teens. The lessons I learned helped me cherish the final “inclusive” story below. Hope you’ll share your thoughts and success stories.
Tommy, my 13 year old son, with the label of “normal”:
Went to 2 weeks of Boy Scout camp, an experience which included a hike on the Appalachian Trail.
Had to choose between participating in baseball or soccer which included 2 practices a week and a game. In August he began daily training for the school cross-country team.
Was active in a neighborhood network of five boys who decided to start a Gaming Exchange Club. His friends called him the minute he arrived home from activities, played games until supper.
Was invited to stay overnight with a friend or cousin 3 times and his friends 5 times.
Had a season’s pass to a nearby amusement park and spent at least one day there each week with friends.
The days of summer flew by for Tommy. He had individual activities with friends, but also family activities which included a camping vacation and travel to a National Park. His major frustrations were either the lack of time for pursuing all of his interests, or his Mom’s suggesting he do something “dumb” like reading a book or practicing his clarinet.
Our Family Camping Trip
Aaron, age 14, with the label of autism, intellectual and developmental disability:
Aaron went to two weeks of “special” camp: Easter Seals and Stepping Stones.
Aaron’s major activity was watching Tommy play baseball, video games…and riding in the carpool to drop off Tommy and his friends.
Aaron also has a pass to the amusement park, but can only go with an adult (his mother).
Aaron spends every morning saying, “bus, bus … ready, set, go.” When the school bus doesn’t come, he sometimes licks on the front window, bites his hands and puts on his coat and backpack. He can’t figure out why his routine is different from the other 9 months of the year.
Aaron also can’t figure out why we spend all winter telling him to keep the front door shut, and all summer telling him to keep the front door open (but that’s another story). *smile*
He was not invited to overnights with cousins or friends.
What’s the Difference?
As I contrast the lives of my two boys, I can’t help thinking…
• …perhaps I wouldn’t feel Aaron’s isolation and lack of contact with any friends or same-age peers if Tommy had fewer friends.
• …perhaps I wouldn’t worry about Aaron’s behaviors, physical condition, weight and stamina if he were occasionally an active participant, rather than always an observer.
• …perhaps our family will adjust eventually to the sadness (and stress) we feel knowing Aaron’s only opportunities come from mom, dad or brother…and realizing it may always be that way.
* …perhaps we wouldn’t feel so trapped if we could get respite regularly.
* …perhaps we’ll become accustomed to wearing a key around our necks so that the door can be locked with a deadbolt every time someone goes out or comes in (otherwise Aaron will run into the street or enter neighbors’ homes).
* …perhaps we’ll resign ourselves to our community’s “special” camps and “special” recreation programs, which effectively exclude Aaron from almost everything that is typical, regular, easily available and low cost.
* …perhaps hope will sustain us that someday a “community support” agency professional from somewhere, anywhere, could adapt, modify and begin to open community activities for Aaron and others.
* …perhaps/…oh perhaps…some wonderful person will believe that a community is more that a group of houses, businesses and people.
Summary: “Separate is Inherently Unequal.”
The tragedy of having a child with a disability has nothing to do with a syndrome, impairment or disease. Words such as autism, CP, and intellectual disabilities are just descriptors the same way hair color, height, race, sex and personality are descriptors. Children don’t start out life knowing they are different. The tragedy is the reaction of families, neighbors and society, which emphasize differences.
The conflict for people with disabilities and for their families comes when the community limits opportunities, segregates and restricts individuals’ choices (e.g. Handicap swim is Tuesday; 1:30-2:30 p.m. and General swim is Monday to Friday 8:00–5:00). If Aaron had an inclusive swim buddy, Aaron wouldn’t have to go to “handicap swim” but rather the general swim with the other kids.
It doesn’t matter that the limiting of opportunities appears, to have a good rationale or charitable intentions. Segregation limits freedom, limits choices, and limits development.
“Special” means segregated.
Our Olympic Moment of Inclusion
One hot July day, Tommy and his friends stopped by our house to make some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for an impromptu picnic.
Unexpectedly, one of the boys asked if Aaron wanted to come along.
Five minutes later, all the kids were laughing, talking and riding their bikes to the park. One red-haired kid named Aaron was riding on his bike in tandem with his brother.
In about one hour the picnic ended and they brought Aaron back.
That was the highlight of Aaron’s whole summer.
Our Olympic Moment–not, Special Olympic Moment
That moment for Aaron was sort of like the experience of an Olympic ice skater, gymnast, American Idol singer who practices day after day hoping to “bring it all together” for one magic performance or “big break.”
It was a “victory” –a spontaneous, normalized recreation experience, without his mom! Ahhh (smile-sigh).
And now…back to work. But, perhaps, just perhaps…those wonderful, typical neighborhood kids will grow up more fully with the vision for and the experience of community integration and freedom. They are the next generation of soccer coaches, swim instructors, church and scout learners.
The change of inclusion has begun.
Keep Climbing: Onward and Upward
All my best,
Mary
Related Stories:
On the last day of Junior High School.
Dream Plan for Aaron–14 yrs old (Part 2).
America the Beautiful: A Family Vacation, Plus.
